Love without boundaries appears at first to be the essence of spirituality, even enlightenment.
To feel compassion & love for all beings is a tenet of most major religions. Sayings like “we’re all connected” & “it’s all love” are popular refrains among hippies & new agers & progressive people everywhere.
That said, upon a deeper look, love without boundaries can be a description of the most toxic relationships you will find on this planet!
Every single instance of abuse in this world has been a violation of someone’s boundaries.
- It is boundaries that keep a system healthy whole sovereign & intact *
Even on the level of micro-biology you have cell membranes keeping the basic form of the organism intact.
Without boundaries there would be no structure. At the extreme there would be no form – just – gaseousness!
Now. As someone who has been a spiritual seeker & adventurer & who has had my own share of far-out experiences… not to mention depression, soul-sickness, confusion & longing for spiritual transcendence. I longed at time to merge with a sacred other who would redeem me, life me up & take away all the pain.
But the truth is…. I also learned the hard way that – this perhaps does not exist.
I learned lessons about codependence (hyperlink) & having to do my own inner work to face the fears & pain & traumas from the past that, deep down, were driving me. And while I could certainly accept moral support from others (hyperlink), & that was in fact invaluable…. to a certain extent I had to do it myself, together with a higher power.
In short I leaned that when it comes to relationships, lack of boundaries is actually one of the most toxic things possible. And the spiritual sense of connection & “ all love” that many of us have is still valid & desirable – just behind appropriate boundaries.
Love without boundaries is not desirable.
I felt, actually, for me that understanding this brought kind of a cultural revolution in my life. Away from the delusions of adolescence, into a respect for form, maturity, & stability.